SIGIL - At 2 hours 17 minutes past anti-peak
yesterday, Na'Tak Karari stepped through the Arch
of Three Sorrows in the Clerk's Ward thereby
completing the final leg of his journey in which he
visited every Outer Plane in only 89 days. Upon
arrival, he was greeted by a cheering crowd of
1,000 bashers who heard word of his coming as chant
leaked out of Release From Care (a burg in
Elysium). A bit worn from his trip, the planewalker
was nevertheless in high spirits.
The incredible journey, which started out as a
bet with a quadrone 90 days prior, took Karari
through every plane touching the Outlands. "Bloody
modron was always rattlin' his bone-box about the
Great March", said Karari. "After a few pints o'
bub that afternoon, I told him the real chant was
that any berk with a pair of decent boots could do
the same. He bet me I couldn't do it and I was just
leatherheaded enough to try."
Although the stakes of the bet have not been
revealed, an argument broke out almost immediately
after Karari's arrival concerning the terms of the
wager. Upon completion of the journey, Karari gave
the modron all the gate keys he had utilised in his
travels, a prior condition of the bet. After
examining them briefly, the modron accused Karari
of cross-trading and declared the "contract null
and void."
The quadrone, number 207-148-15, declared,"
Karari has failed to fulfil the terms of the
agreement. He has provided gate-keys as promised,
but he did not complete his trip in the requisite
order. This is a violation of the terms of the
wager and nullifies the bet. The gate keys are
useless to us."
This immediately angered Karari who shouted,
"Barmy Box! I went to all of them! Order doesn't
matter!" Karari's exclamation elicited a load roar
from the crowd and shouts of "Don't let 'em peel ya
Karari!" and "Cross-trading rogue!" The two bashers
continued to argue loudly while bystanders
increased their booing and jeering. Just as the
berks wound to a fevered pitch, the situation
turned especially barmy when three fiends
(Tanar'ri) strolled into the fray and attempted to
steal the bag of gate keys. A whole squadron of
Hardheads arrived moments later, subduing the crowd
and scragging the modron, Karari and several Indeps
standing nearby for rabble-rousing.
After being temporarily released pending court
action, Karari explained to SIGIS that he had
bypassed Gehenna after visiting the Grey Waste and
headed straight on to Baator. Later, he used an
unknown gate from Mount Celestia to travel back
through the Waste and on to the Four-fold furnaces.
Karari then completed his journey by revisiting
Release From Care where he started his adventure.
As to the intervention of the Tanar'ri, Karari told
SIGIS that they apparently wanted a Succubus head
back which he'd used as a gate key to the Abyss.
As to the whether the modron will have to pay
the music, Mover Virdo of the Harmonium told SIGIS
that they would "Let the Guvners sort this mess
out. No modron's gonna try and bob them." The
fiends on the other hand gave the laugh to the
Hardheads, though they failed to acquire the gate
keys which the Harmonium is holding as evidence.
The case is expected to go to trial sometime in the
next two weeks. However, the Guvners are unlikely
to answer the question still on a lot of bashers
minds: "What was the modron going to do with all
those keys?"
[Author:
Mark
Horvath]
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SYLVANIA - What began as a drunken brawl between
a petitioner of Arvandor and Olympus yesterday
quickly escalated into an open riot as forces from
both sides joined in to fight for the honour of
their respective powers.
Though eventually brought under control by The
Seven and temple guards, the fighting put four into
the dead book, and started a fire that destroyed
the kip of Master Kendrick Telmarc, one of the more
prestigious wine merchants in the burg. A number of
combatants have been scragged, but the cutter
responsible for the arson remains at large.
The altercation began around dusk outside of the
sign of the Drunken Maid when an elven petitioner
of Arvandor and a human petitioner of Olympus began
to shout boasts and imprecations at one another in
the street. Fellow petitioners of both realms
started to slowly collect in the street to jeer and
boast in kind. As the words became more vicious, so
did the crowd. They went from hurling insults to
throwing rocks, and finally drew steel on one
another. Which side drew first remains unclear,
each group claimed the other began the bloodshed.
Drunken petitioners and planars from inns and
taverns rushed to join the fighting, some
apparently in the service of a power, while others
tried to some quick jink by looting the empty kips
in the mayhem. A number of the latter smashed into
the dwelling of Master Kendrick, grabbing what bub
they could and smashing what they could not carry.
A toppled oil lamp set off a blaze that claimed the
life of Master Kendrick's youngest daughter, Emily.
"It was horrible. All these leatherheads full of
bub in such a frenzy to bash one another that not
one of them heard the screams until it was too
late", said Alil Fairfax, a bariaur who was
attracted by the light of the fire and the clash of
combat. "We [the bystanders] tried to get
those sods to calm down so we could get through
with water, but by the time enough of them had
realised they needed to stop the fire, the screams
had ceased and the case was in ashes."
"This won't be forgotten," Aernon the tapster
added, "Not by those of Olympus, not by those of
Arvandor, and definitely not by the Merchant's
guild. There will be trouble. Mark my words."
- Reported by Marcanto Di Capella
[Author:
Roy
Morton]
WORK ON BOTH ENDS of the Xaositect "spoke" has
slowed to almost a standstill today, with a major
dispute arising amongst workers on the project.
The heart of the matter appears to be whether or
not the spoke should be painted as it is being
constructed, or whether it should be completed
first and then painted. The Xaosmen seem almost
evenly divided on the issue, and whilst
deliberations proceed the structure isn't getting
any higher.
Near the Great Foundry today, three people were
killed when an inadequately fastened steel beam
broke away from near the top of the "spoke" and
crashed to the ground. Their bodies remain pinned
under the beam whilst the Xaositects squabble over
when the "spoke" should be painted.
[Author:
Teresa
Angelucci]
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